


The Logic of Adding a Little Tongue

by GigglingGrave



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Gen, Mythical Beings & Creatures, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-11 18:18:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15977804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GigglingGrave/pseuds/GigglingGrave
Summary: When the people of Kingsman aren't quite human things play out differently. When it's more than just class separating Eggsy from his peers will he still rise to the challenge?





	1. Mouth to m- uh... beak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The drowning test went a little differently for Eggsy.

Eggsy took one step into the room and instantly knew not a single person inside was human, including himself. Here he was where all the new recruits were to first meet and it seems he might actually have something in common with them. He didn’t have time to figure out if there being no humans was a good or bad thing for an organization supposedly created to protect mankind before Merlin came in to announce the reason for the body bags. Looking around, Eggsy tried to suss out who was what but at the moment all the information he could gather was who was wearing a glamour and who wasn’t.

 

The one thing he could tell for sure was that no one here was a concubus other than him.

 

That figured. Everyone here looked posh and- well, rich. It wasn’t that a concubus _couldn’t_ be those things. It was just that a lot of doors tended to stay closed to certain types of non-humans. You could find a fae or werecreature doing anything from being a banker to a farmer but say, a bogeyman or gorgon? Your options suddenly became limited.

 

All that meant to Eggsy was that he wasn’t going to be flashing his other face any time soon.

 

Or at least that was what he had hoped.

 

But then there had to be the water.

 

“Yeah, you can all wipe those smirks off your faces… because as far as I’m concerned every _single_ one of you has failed. You all forgot the most important thing: teamwork.” Merlin pointed back at the water-logged room they’d just been trapped in.

 

 _Amelia_.

 

Eggsy vaulted towards her body.

 

“Eggsy! What are you-”

“Eggsy- wait!”

“She’s gone, mate!”

 

He ignored them. He could sense it. His body knew he could still feed on her. He wasn’t going to do that but she was alive, barely. Her life was flickering anyway. If he could just give her a bit of a boost-

 

Eggsy felt himself change as he got down on his hands and knees over he body. Peach skin turned to bright bubblegum pink, curled horns sprouted forth, golden cat eyes looked over her for an idea on where to start. She was covered in feathers- harpy, he confirmed. He thumped his spade-tipped tail on the floor in thought for half a second contemplating her beak and then lunged forward.

 

“Holy shit you can’t _eat_ her!”

 

He kissed her and honestly, as an unconscious dying woman without lips she wasn’t the worst he’d ever had. With the connection of the kiss he was able to link his living energy to hers and instead of taking, as was his normal course of action when he did this, he gave some of his energy over to her in return. He felt her life flicker brighter but he wasn’t giving her enough. There needed to be more of a connection. So, he did the logical thing and added some tongue.

 

“You are _sick_ , mate.”

 

That was it. She was coming through. He had her. One final moment, a split second and she-

 

Her eyes opened.

 

That was when he felt arms on him and they weren’t hers. For one, there were too many of them.

 

“Get the fuck off her!”

“What is wrong with you!?”

“Fucking freak, show some respect.”

 

Amelia shot up and heaved. She coughed. She turned her worried eyes over to him, the other trainees pulling him back, and briefly towards Merlin before going back to Eggsy again.

 

“Thank… you…” she rasped.

 

Eggsy was going to become uncomfortable very quickly with all these blokes continuing to grapple him.

 

“Yeah, sure thing,” he gasped and tried to wink at her from his position of being pinned to the floor.

 

“Let him go, gentlemen,” came the voice of Merlin over the scuffle. He was close, and Roxy trailed behind, taking in the whole scene with cold, analytical eyes.

 

“But Merlin, he-”

 

“I will not be asking again, lads.” It was the tone of someone who expected to be obeyed.

 

Eggsy cracked his neck as he got up, a bit shaky.

 

“Roxy, please escort Amelia to medical. The rest of you besides Mr. Unwin, move your things to the bunks next door. Now as for-”

 

“Sir, permission to speak freely,” Roxy interrupted. She stood in parade rest between Eggsy and Merlin.

 

Eggsy stared. She had just spoken over Merlin. That… took more courage than facing the water death room they had just been in, honestly.

 

Merlin looked her over for a moment that felt like at least three pregnant pauses but was probably only a second.

 

“Best make it quick. I would like to see that Amelia is taken to medical ASAP.”

 

“Eggsy wasn’t attacking Amelia _or_ attempting to eat her,” She reported briskly as she side-eyed the other trainees. “He was resuscitating her and may have saved her life.”

 

Merlin’s face didn’t even twitch. “Your unexpected witness testimony has been documented. Now, go see your fellow recruit to medical.” He nodded at her in dismissal and turned to look at the rest of the trainees loitering around. “What did I tell ye? Pack up and move. You still have training tomorrow and if you’re not well rested it’s not my problem.”

 

At that they all rushed out. Eggsy shuffled his feet and then remembered he still looked like a demon come to destroy a parent’s ignorant “It’s a Boy” party with the revelation that their baby was trans. He started to transform back, scratching a pointed ear as it became round. He couldn’t tell what Merlin was thinking behind that impassive face. His new instructor gestured for him to follow and they both left the room. Down a few winding corridors Merlin opened a room and held the door for him.

 

Eggsy blinked a few times and breathed in deeply. A strange mixed scent of greens, dirt, and hot plastic met his nose. From floor to ceiling the room was covered in roots and vines that intertwined and, as far as Eggsy could tell, merged with the wires, computers, and electronics. There was a continuous low-grade humming that one could feel more than hear. Eggsy cautiously stepped in and followed Merlin’s nod to sit down at what could only be a desk that had been grown that way.

 

“So,” Merlin hedged as he poured himself some tea. “I would like to commend you on your quick action to save a fellow member of your group.” Merlin looked at Eggsy now. “Would you like a cuppa?”

 

“Yeah- um, yes… please.” Eggsy looked down into his tea as Merlin took his time sitting down with his drink. Even though the older man had complimented him Eggsy felt still a bit on edge. If Merlin wanted to congratulate him he could have done that in front of the others. Both men sat in silence as they fixed their tea how they preferred.

 

“Now Mr. Unwin-”

 

“Eggsy, please.”

 

“All right, Eggsy. Now, in your documentation you wrote down you have no talent for magic but right there… what was that, Eggsy?” Merlin took a sip of his tea.

 

“It wasn’t magic, sir. It was just a skill.” Eggsy frowned.

 

“A skill.”

 

“Yeah, you know, like all eatin’ normally but in reverse.”

 

“Eating? As in…”

 

“As in when a concubus feeds on someone. You just reverse it.” Eggsy shrugged and then scrunched up his nose, hoping Merlin wasn’t also picturing Eggsy vomiting up energy onto Amelia. It was always so hard to explain this part without sounding gross.

 

“So, you gave her some of your… energy?” Merlin questioned, giving nothing of his own thoughts away. “We’ve only had one other concubus try out for Kingsman- your father. He never pulled the trick you just did. Is there anything you need after? I did notice you’re a bit paler than him.”

 

Eggsy smiled and relaxed a bit, realizing this was just misplaced concern for his will-being. “I’m good for right now. Not hungry at all. But- yeah. My dad was a different color than me. He was always a deep red when well-fed but me? When I’m topped off the darkest I get is a hot pink or magenta or whateva’. Givin’ a little to Amelia didn’t cost me much. I’m not going pastel or anything at the moment. I’m not starving. Thanks for the concern though, guv.”

 

Merlin nodded. “Right then. All the same I would like you to report to medical to get checked out before returning to bed. Good work. You’re dismissed.”

 

Eggsy threw a sloppy salute and left what he assumed to have been Merlin’s office. On his way through the winding hallways he nearly bumped into Roxy.

 

“Hey, Rox! Amelia doin’ okay?”

 

“She doing quite well for someone who nearly drowned. You?” Roxy tilted her head and seemed to be evaluating him.

 

“Just fine. Merlin wanted to check on my own health private like. Was nice of him, I guess. Scared the piss out of me at first though.” Eggsy smiled and Roxy returned it.

 

“That being said, it was right nice of you to stand up for me. Especially to Merlin. That took some courage,” Eggsy said. He leaned against the wall. If he was a few minutes late to medical it wouldn’t kill him. Roxy’s response would also help him gauge his suspicions about what she was too. Would she say ‘welcome’?

 

“Of course, can’t leave my new friend to face the big bad taskmaster Merlin alone.” She punched him gently in the shoulder and made to move along.

 

“Wait, Roxy,” Eggsy teetered on his feet for a moment. “When Amelia was coughing, did you see her cough up any water?”

 

Roxy narrowed her eyes for a moment while thinking back. “No.”

 

A look of acknowledgement passed between the two of them.

 

“I’ll check up on her while I’m at medical,” Eggsy offered.

 

“Keep me updated,” Roxy replied before she turned around for good and went to go to bed.

 

Sadly, Eggsy wasn’t able to keep an eye on Amelia. She wasn’t around when he got there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Merlin rubbed at his temple as he looked at the medical report he’d received on Amelia’s condition after her interaction with Eggsy. She was fine, better than fine. She showed no signs of the False Death potion that she had taken to ensure a believable corpse was left for the trainees to find. In fact, she was already on her way back to the Berlin offices.

 

The creaking of his office door rang out as someone stepped in. Merlin turned to look.

 

It was Harry.

 

Merlin smiled warmly and ushered them both to his desk, not even asking if Harry wanted tea or how. They had gone through the motions too many times for Merlin not to know. He brought over a cup for each of them.

 

“He brought back Amelia from a False Death sleep without casting a single spell,” Merlin started.

 

“You’re joking.”

 

“Interestingly, no,” Merlin said as he handed Harry the medical report. “You can see it for yourself. The recording of their first test is right here.” He then also handed Harry a USB stick.

 

“Thank you, Merlin. You’re as well prepared as always for my mother-henning,” Harry grinned ruefully. Then he put both the flash drive and files in the briefcase he brought with him and continued his tea.

 

“Always, Galahad,” Merlin said as he relaxed into his chair. He then fiddled with a ring on his finger as if it was uncomfortable, wanting to take it off. “If you don’t mind, this has been bothering me all day,” He indicated said ring with a wiggle of his fingers. “I think I might need to get it resized.”

 

“Of course not,” Harry said with a wave of his hand as if batting away Merlin’s concerns. “Still growing?”

 

“Always.” Merlin removed the ring and instead of the man who had been sitting there, a being made of pure wood sat before the Kingsman agent. He looked grown into his form, not carved, and was larger than he had been before. Greens and browns littered his bark. Leaves sprung up here and there. Merlin took a deep breath. “Much better.” He looked down at his hand and saw a slight bulge on the finger where the ring had been. “Definitely need a resize.”

 

Harry took said hand for a moment to examine it, looking this way and that. “Best to do it before starting your tests tomorrow. Here.” And with that Harry smoothed the bark down with a finger so it no longer looked like it had been choked while growing. His hand shined with a white light and then it was gone. “Best I can do at the moment.”

 

“It’s more than enough, Galahad. But are you okay? You seem…” the dryad paused to find the right words. “You seem nervous about something.”

 

They caught each other’s eyes and Harry sighed before finishing off his tea. “I have a bad feeling.”

 

“About Eggsy?”

 

“Goodness no, only positive gut feelings about him. I wouldn’t have sponsored him otherwise. It’s rare you have such a good feeling about someone you spring out of jail.” Harry chuckled to himself at that. “There I go sounding like Arthur.”

 

“You could never sound like Arthur.”

 

“But I digress. It’s everything else I’m worried about.”

 

Merlin paused. Anyone else would have taken it as him thinking over the new information presented but Harry knew better. The dryad was trying to stop his hands from shaking. “Everything else? Officially?”

 

Harry simply looked resigned and then nodded his head.

 

“Well… shit. I guess I should prepare.” Merlin finished his tea too and started to clean up the used cups. Then he paused. “Thank you, Harry, for your insight, as always.”

 

Harry shook his head as he stood up. “No need, my friend. I just hope we all make it through.”

 

“As do I.”

 

Both men lingered for a moment, a pause to look each other in the eye, a second of desiring to be selfish, a wish. Then it ended. They bid each other well and went to prepare in their own ways for whatever was to come. 


	2. Lightning Strikes Twice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy reveals more than just her fear of heights during the skydiving test.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, because of a lovely comment I got and another friend's urging I decided to add to this. This means that I will occasionally add chapters but there won't be an overarching plot. It will simply be little one-shots all taking place in the same universe. Sound good?

She felt the static building under her skin, clenching her throat.

 

“Eggsy, I really don’t think I can do this.” It was a confession meant for only his ears but they were in a plane full of people. They also all had mics in their helmets so that wasn’t helping.

 

“Ah, of course you can’t,” Charlie said blithely, and shoved her out of the way. She could feel his swan feathers bristling against his glamour. _What a puffed up, pompous, inept sidhe_ , was the dark thought crossing her mind. She may be sidhe too but at least she didn’t pretend. Seelie, like Charlie, liked to think they were good, light, warmth.

 

But no, they were just the same as her, unseelie. She was honest in her presentation. She never made a mortal think she was going to offer them honey instead of a beating. She would just give them a beating, you know, if they deserved it.

 

What made her seethe even more was knowing he was technically her equal. Equal! As if she could be compared to his incompetent pettiness. Stupid becomenseelie bringing in the summer with their Maiden leading the troops. They were nothing. Roxy’s lovely Maiden with her wasseelie were absolutely superior, bringing in winter.

 

If only she could show him…

 

But it wasn’t fair. Charlie had wings.

 

“Get to the back and I’ll show you how, yeah?” Charlie preened in the front. _Stupid bird_. She was going to stab him one day. It was a fact now.

 

“Roxy?” A hand came to loosen one of her fists and hold it. _Eggsy_.

 

Roxy motioned for them to both go into a separate mic channel.

 

“Eggsy. I’m scared.” She closed her eyes in shame. As the men in front of her weren’t facing them she shed her glamour.

 

“I am the _flash_ , and _heat_ , and _strike_ but I don’t fucking **fall**.” She squeezed his hand.

 

“You’re lightning…” he almost whispered. His eyes reflected the sparks beneath her glass skin.

 

“No. I am the moment lightning strikes sand. I am the formation of glass- of fulgurite. I am an instant.” She looked at her feet and started to advance on line as the other trainees started to jump. “I- I belong on the ground. At all times.”

 

“You belong to your court.” Eggsy stated simply. It was true. “You belong with the best, Rox. Lightning, if it wants to strike, first ‘as to form and come down.”

 

It was their turn to jump and he bumped his helmet against hers with a smile.

 

They were going to do it.

 

“Eggsy, Eggsy wait! Hang on.” She held him in place with their linked hands but he quickly turned the grip around on her.

 

“Roxy, just stop fuckin’ about. Follow me, yeah?” He smiled even though his words cut. He knew how to push her which was why she had allowed them to become friends in the first place. He knew.

 

He leaned back… and back.

 

He was falling. She heard his glee though her helmet’s speakers.

 

She _couldn’t_.

 

She had told him. She couldn’t be the moment before! It wasn’t where she belonged. She belonged…

 

She belonged to her court. If she… could she follow him?

 

Could she _follow_ Eggsy?

 

“Roxy, it’s now or never,” She heard him say. Lighting had to come down.

  
  
“Jump.” A command.

 

She would follow Eggsy.

 

Roxy jumped.

 

“Good girl, Rox! I’m glad you made it!” came Eggsy’s joyful shout. Roxy had to agree.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That feeling didn’t last long. It all jumbled together in a rush. They switched back to the main channel. One of them didn’t have a parachute. Merlin was talking in her ear. Eggsy was making plans.

 

Then it was just her and Eggsy. Was it her or him that didn’t have a parachute? It didn’t matter now. If either of them died from this she would be so cross. Right.

 

She was pretty sure both of them were screaming as they open her chute at somewhere around 300 ft.

_Fucking feet_.

 

Why didn’t the overlay use the fucking metric system?! She was so mad and scared right now she could feel the electricity breaking off from her body. Eggsy was holding on as best he could but she could tell they were going to hit the ground too hard. They were moving too fast.

 

She had to save him. Save herself.

 

She had to think, push the fear aside, and think _fast_. If he broke his legs, her only friend would be out of the running. Roxy may not owe him. They may not have made a deal, but she’ll be damned if she didn’t want to test herself against him until the end. If she broke her legs it would be even worse. She would be out of the running. What she needed was a solution. This was a problem. Problems had to be solved.

 

It hit her- she was the moment lightning strikes sand. Fucking duh.

 

“Eggsy, trust me.” It was a command. He obeyed.

 

It was less a spell and more an expansion of herself. She unfolded. The tricky part would be taking Eggsy along with her in this transformation. He had to expand with her, essentially be a part of her and that was… difficult for many reasons.

 

There wasn’t time for anything else. He had to trust her. Roxy pushed the magic onto him as well. Instead of fighting the shift like a sane person would he let her unseelie magic wash over him without resistance.

 

It was perfect. He was perfect.

 

Because they were lightning. You couldn’t break bones if you didn’t have any. Energy couldn’t feel pain. Then Roxy and Eggsy did what lightning was supposed to, they struck. They hit the Kingsman logo on the grass with a flash. They were blinding. They were beautiful.

 

She could feel his shock and adrenaline along with her own. They left the smallest of craters in her landing and she hoped Merlin wasn’t too mad at what they’d done to the lawn.

 

Roxy folded herself back inwards. She reassumed her body, lightning put away inside. She didn’t have the energy at the moment to even put her glamour back on. While she wasn’t lightning anymore there wasn’t anything human about her either. It didn’t bother her. She extricated Eggsy from herself as well, slowly taking off the spider web lightning-like magic that coated him. Eggsy pulled himself together beside her, pastel pink and horns curling with electricity running between the points. She could only imagine what she looked like. Probably staticky and sandy. She got some confirmation that she looked as ridiculous as him when he looked at her, smiled and then started giggling hysterically.

 

She joined him.

 

Holy fuck she never wanted to do that again. It was terrible and terrific. It would hopefully never be repeated. Tired, she flung a hand over to Eggsy and, after searching for it blindly for a moment, grabbed his hand. He squeezed it back.

 

They had themselves mostly under control before everyone gathered and Merlin told them their results. She walked away after, relived, but stayed in line of sight as soon as she heard Eggsy becoming cross at Merlin.

 

She didn’t know how to feel when she saw Eggsy had a parachute the whole time. It billowed behind him when Merlin pulled the release. However, she accepted it once she saw Eggsy’s smile as he fell flat on his ass. If it didn’t bother him she could live with what that lie had created. Well, she pondered for a second, Merlin technically hadn’t lied. She sighed through her nose. It was like being home and playing politics. Nobody lied but the truth wasn’t spoken either. There wasn’t much she could do in the situation and it was his parachute after all. But… then Eggsy was still talking to Merlin. Their instructor motioned for the apparent discussion to move inside. Roxy frowned as she watched them. She made her own way towards the Kingsman building, noting where they could possibly be going. She made a note to herself to check on Eggsy when she was finished with her own tasks.

 

After getting out of her gear and putting her glamor back on Roxy started tracking down her only friend in this competition. She was rounding a corner when they knock into each other. They both muffled their own curses and Roxy noticed he still hadn’t put his concubus face away. She frowned, looking at his paler shade.

 

“Hey Rox,” he mumbled by way of greeting, then yawned, and leant against the wall. It appeared after the adrenalin high of the day he had started to lag.

 

“You look hungry,” she hinted.

 

Eggsy focused more clearly on her now but she could see the surprise behind his eyes. As if she wouldn’t research everything she could about concubi the moment he had outed himself. What did he take her for?

 

“Yeah, was gonna head out and get a snack,” he hedged.

 

“You’re allowed to leave the grounds?”

 

“Allowed is such a strong word, bruv.”

 

She tilted her head and waited as he seemed to deliberate on what he would be willing to tell her.

 

“Merlin told me in no uncertain terms that I couldn’t leave the grounds to feed. He also did not show me what cameras were down for maintenance he suddenly had to do… for reasons,” Eggsy said around another yawn and then shrugged.

 

“I’ll be your wingman,” she said before she could even think about it.

 

“What?” He looked like she had smacked him.

 

“Wing… man. Wingwoman? I don’t care. This is something friends do, I believe. Therefore, I intend to do it. Now, lead the way.” Roxy motioned for him to get moving.

 

“You’re doing this for you, yeah?” Eggsy hedged, checking to make sure she wasn’t sneakily attempting to get him to owe her.

 

She smiled, that was her boy.

 

“Obviously. Why would I do this for you? I want to restock my sweets stash,” She answered primly. “You’re an excuse and something I hope to take advantage of.” Her smile belied her true intentions.

 

Eggsy let out a breath and stopped leaning on the wall with a small smile. “You’re the best, Rox.”

 

“I know.”

 

“I thought the sweets deal was all a stereotype of fae,” Eggsy frowned as they made their way.

 

“Not so much, no.”

 

They continued their chatter until the Kingsman base was far behind them. Roxy had never had a friend before. This was exciting.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. If there are any tags you think I should have let me know and I'll add them. I take constructive criticism so if you spot anything I will fix whatever it is.


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